half way over?

As a general rule, I am not a birthday broadcaster. I know plenty of folk that announce their birthdays months in advance, celebrate birthday months etc. Nothing wrong with that, but it is simply not me. I am usually happy letting my birthday come and go without much hoopla. Ideal birthday for me: some quality time with my wife and son. Leave the cake, parties, etc for someone else.

So, I am way out of my comfort zone as I write this blog, but wanted to comment on something that happened on my birthday this year.

Maybe you are like me in that a birthday represents an open season for you friends to rib you about your age etc. (maybe I need new friends...) This year, I received an email on the blackberry at 7:15 a.m. on the birthday. My "friend" wrote: "Happy Birthday. Almost 40 - your life is half way over - enjoy your day." Hmmm. Half way over?

Well, If life is halfway over, then what had I accomplished in the first half? Is it truly even worth pondering, or is my time better used thinking about what I can accomplish in the second half? (there is a Tim McGraw song in here somewhere...)

So, the next half to do list:

• Raise my son (soon to be sons) to be the best men that they can be.
• Work hard to make sure that my marriage is solid and not boring. Make sure that my wife and I continue to grow as a couple.
• Pursue professional growth opportunities to not only spur my own growth, but, more importantly, allow for my family to be well provided for.
• Get active again. While I still can.
• Reconnect with friends that I have become too distant from.

I'm sure that this list will grow and evolve (after all, it is 4 a.m. - how clear can my thinking be?)

Half way over? Maybe. Disappointed to be on the back-9? Nope.

Spirit of Service

This Saturday, the Lakewood Service League will host their Annual Walk, Wag and Run Event ( http://www.lakewoodserviceleague.org/walkwagrun/) at Winfrey Point at White Rock Lake. The YMCA at White Rock is one of two beneficiaries of the event.

The Y is quite thankful to be a part of such a great event. There is lots of synergy between the event and the Y, as the event promotes wellness, family time, and community support.

The Lakewood Service League is a Women's League in East Dallas that has been supporting local charities since 1982. The leagues tremendous work over the past quarter-century has greatly benefited many organizations in East Dallas, including the Y.

So, I ask the question: "What is one's motivation to serve?" When I think about personal motivation, I tend to think in terms of personal benefit. I think that all of us tend to think about the personal recognition that we might receive, the financial benefit of a behavior, etc. But what motivates one to work hard to create an event (such as walk, wag and run) that is selfless?

More importantly, how can we create an environment where a spirit of service becomes a social norm?

I had an interesting discussion with a colleague lately about family philanthropy. The premise was that adults find motivations to give. It could be that they want / need to give back, or it could be a simple as the desire to get a tax deduction, but, nonetheless, they give. Kids, on the other hand, may not understand the value in giving. So, the question was, how do we create a family philanthropic model that teaches kids the importance of giving back?

What language do we use to illustrate the importance of community support through charitable giving and service to others. How do we motivate others (kids and adults) to provide service to to others when there may be little personal gain from such an act?

And, for me, how do I raise my kids in such a way that they value service to others?

I think that there are some simple answers to these questions, including: leading by example and reinforcement of moral codes found in religion, but I believe that there has to be more.

This weekend, several dozen women will give their time to create an event that will greatly benefit our community. They understand the power of selfless acts and community support. Somewhere along the line, a valuable lesson was learned by each of the members of the Lakewood Service League. How do we bottle those learnings and replicate for the next generation?

Lifestations...

I attended my 20 year HS reunion a couple of weeks ago...or should I say I attended part of it. Seeing everyone 20 years later led to some interesting thought about lifestations. I remember attending my 10 year reunion, and feeling a bit the way I did in high school. At that reunion, several of the guys get together beforehand, drank far too much, and spent most of the night in the corner critiquing old classmates. I suppose that a 10 year reunion may still be a bit too close to one's high school years. It may be too early to tell how someone is going to turn out. I think about what was going on in my life at the tender age of 28, and I was far from finished "cooking". But, alas, 38! At this point, (theoretically), one has been on a career path for a fair amount of time, most likely has started a family (or intentionally chosen not to), and hopefully has moved out of their parents' basement. It was really good to see how people had turned out. All of the high school (and post high school) bs seemed to be gone. Many people went down paths that were somewhat unexpected, but, all in all, people seemed happy. I recognize that I am biased, but I believe that our class had aged very well. People looked happy and healthy. People had very "settled" looks on their faces. It's was as if their messaging was "this is the path I've chosen, I put my past behind me, and the true me is now here to stay". Very different from the "who is hot, and who is not" mentality of the 10 year reunion.

So, the obvious question is: "how will people change over the next 10 years?" I look at my path, and things on the horizon, and try to forecast what 10 years from now might look like. Our son, Griffin, will be entering middle school. His younger brother (due in March), will be 9. From a career perspective, there is a good chance that we will be somewhere other than the Metroplex (nothing currently in the works, but a long-term possibility).

And the obvious: I will be a little fatter, a little balder, a little grayer etc. But, I would guess, a little happier too. Not that I am unhappy now. Actually, quite the contrary. But, it will be a true joy to watch my boys grow up.

Its interesting to see paradigms change as we mature. Here I am, at 4:18 in the morning, commenting on the evolution of my family over the next ten years. 10 years ago, I would have only commented on who was hot 10 years after high school...